"You're gonna need
a bigger boat"
- Martin Brody
Intercontinental Music Lab

Monogamy Wasn’t Meant For The Immortal

Subject: Immortal Jellyfish, Music by Joe Dean, Lyrics & Vocals by Julian Peters & Sam Berry

Ernest, help me with this damn crossword will you? 5 down. 8 letters. Another word for undying.
I wish you would put away that crossword Alfred and come and look at this jellyfish.
That damn hydrozoan.

Yeah well you say that but this little Medusa can seemingly revert back to the polypoid stage after becoming sexually mature.
How does it do that?
It does it through transdifferentiation.
Are you talking about cell regeneration?
That’s exactly what I’m talking about.
But wait…
Hang on…2 problems…1 day…solved? Look at your crossword.
Its immortal.

Well I’m a jellyfish.
Smooth to the touch but I don’t look much.
Hey you scientists. Heard you speaking bout my secrets you been seeking can’t come soon enough.
Well baby there’s no rush.

Here’s some education.
Yeah I’m a jellyfish.
Technically tiny but sexually mature.
Now I’m a kid again. So on and on and back and forth and on and on and back and forth.
(It’s a fact)
And forth and back.
Transdifferentiation.

Hey Alfred I’m starting to think that these things could be dangerous.
Yes theoretically if they are immortal they could just keep spreading around the world.
Absolutely nothing to stop them…it’s a kind of…
Silent invasion?
Exactly. Eurgh that one’s doing it.
They are at it right now.
He is looking at me funny.
That one just winked at me.

Now we’re the jellyfish.
Monogamy is not meant for the immortal.
So study this.
Making waves with the dames, making ripples in the water ohhhhh
Splash
Ohh
Splash
Now you’re talking.
Woah
Splash
Uh
Splash
Uh splash all over my body.
You’ll get chills coz we’re multiplying.
Stick your equations here’s a silent invasion.

Hang on a minute.
What?
You know they are supposed to be immortal?
Yeah well they are supposed to be.
Well what happens if you stamp on them?
Brilliant let’s stamp on one.
Toss me that one there.
Here you are.
Hoho immortal my arse.
Look how dead that is! Hang on I am going to go and get my tennis racket.
Oh get me one too.
Ok lets play jelly tennis.
Your serve.
It’s dead! Let’s throw them at the fan.
Brilliant look at that.
I dare you to snort one.
Ok.
Ernie look at me, I’ve got one on my head.
Hahaha.

What’s going on?
We were wrong all along.
We’re dying.

I am going to piss on one.
If you let us go home.
We’ll leave you alone.
No multiplying.

I’ll tell you what.
What Ernie?
Do you think we got maybe eat one?
I will if you will.
I’m up for it.
Let’s eat them.
Let’s eat them and see what happens. Its science isn’t it?

Look what we’ve done
We’ve eaten you
And now we are immortal too
No dying.
Now we got chills that are multiplying
Because of the power that you’re supplying
It’s electrifying.

Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported